I had my oldest daughter in the hallway in a wheelchair 5 minutes after I arrived to the hospital - that part of the birth was completely fine, we were both healthy and well. Everything that came after that was closer to rape or assault than care (shout out to Johns Hopkins). Drugs given without informing or consent. Bullying. Don't you want to be a good mother? Your baby will die! CPS! I agree that no birth is risk free because, well obviously that's true, but I personally would choose to have my baby in the woods and die there before I'd step foot in a hospital in labor. My rights to my body were given to me by God not a labor and delivery nurse, and I'd rather die in peace than have them taken away from me. And if that absolutely insane statement doesn't make it crystal clear how traumatic and awful these hospitals turn what should be an amazing, wondrous gift from God into, I don't know what could. The system should be ashamed. It should admit fault. It should change. But it won't change until we do. Instead there will just be more totalitarian calls for control in the name of 'safety' - just like there are. And people will submit to the fear-mongering - just like they always do. I won't be one of them and I wish 20 something year old me hadn't been either.
Yes, there is a growing movement of women who are choosing the limited but still real set of risks outside the system than the manifold and well-characterized risks inside the system. But they are targeted for burning at the stake by the media and the mainstream elites and other bearers of righteousness.
Thank you Moorea! I never talk about it because I thought (hoped?) my experience was somehow unique. Reading this article makes it clear that not only was it not unique it was probably on the 'good' end of the spectrum. Happy to see more people talking about things like this!
Exactly! I wish your experience were unique. :( It's an outrage. Let's keep talking about it. I remember when I was in my early 20s and read a magazine article about this very issue. I shared it with my mom (who birthed 3 babies), and her reaction was very different from mine. She said women shouldn't complain. (?!?) I'm going to continue supporting moms who complain.
Awww... I do see her point. Complaining in some respects does nothing but turn you into a victim. But I've started to see how complaining with the intention to inspire others to learn and choose better can be a source of hope. We can love mom and choose differently. 💕
Thank you for saying that -- I'm indeed trying to learn to love mom and choose differently. I agree, complaining with the intention of hope can be worthwhile.
What’s so frustrating about this issue is that women have been saying the same things for many decades. While midwives are doing laudable work, the average mom who has her baby at a hospital has a traumatic, disempowering experience. 😔
Yes, environmental activists have rightly complained about the Navy’s sound waves harming whales off the coast of Puerto Rico. And we think it has no deleterious effect, not ever, on babies? The science has been clear in animal studies - it affects developing tissue for sure.
I worked with a group who built a midwifery led - birth center model of care and it was beautiful to witness this kind of care. Too bad it's not the norm.
Thanks, Katy. I have four daughters, and one chose to have completely natural deliveries—both went very well. She described feeling a sense of love during the process, which I can’t relate to physically as a father, but I understand what she means.
She’s also very intentional about how she raises her kids—careful with their diet, selective about immunizations, and she prefers to let their bodies heal before turning to medication. Her children are rarely sick and overall very healthy.
In contrast, my second daughter, who is a nurse, follows more traditional medical protocols, including standard immunizations. Her three boys seem to be sick frequently.
That may or may not be related, but it’s something I’ve noticed. I appreciate your perspective.
The "image your pooping" exercise just made my day. It's such a fantastic parallel to demonstrate the absurdity that we've all allowed to develop over the last 100 years in the child birth realm.
Excellent article all around. My favorite so far!!!!
I had my oldest daughter in the hallway in a wheelchair 5 minutes after I arrived to the hospital - that part of the birth was completely fine, we were both healthy and well. Everything that came after that was closer to rape or assault than care (shout out to Johns Hopkins). Drugs given without informing or consent. Bullying. Don't you want to be a good mother? Your baby will die! CPS! I agree that no birth is risk free because, well obviously that's true, but I personally would choose to have my baby in the woods and die there before I'd step foot in a hospital in labor. My rights to my body were given to me by God not a labor and delivery nurse, and I'd rather die in peace than have them taken away from me. And if that absolutely insane statement doesn't make it crystal clear how traumatic and awful these hospitals turn what should be an amazing, wondrous gift from God into, I don't know what could. The system should be ashamed. It should admit fault. It should change. But it won't change until we do. Instead there will just be more totalitarian calls for control in the name of 'safety' - just like there are. And people will submit to the fear-mongering - just like they always do. I won't be one of them and I wish 20 something year old me hadn't been either.
Yes, there is a growing movement of women who are choosing the limited but still real set of risks outside the system than the manifold and well-characterized risks inside the system. But they are targeted for burning at the stake by the media and the mainstream elites and other bearers of righteousness.
It's absolutely no mystery why. "My body my choice" - let it burn.
Also I can’t not link again here to the wonderful piece by @Vila Hedera about the backlash against the backlash. https://vilahedera.substack.com/p/witchhunt-a-commentary-on-the-widespread?utm_source=direct&r=ov0mx&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=post%20viewer
100%
So sorry that happened to you, Tiffany. It's an injustice.
Thank you Moorea! I never talk about it because I thought (hoped?) my experience was somehow unique. Reading this article makes it clear that not only was it not unique it was probably on the 'good' end of the spectrum. Happy to see more people talking about things like this!
Exactly! I wish your experience were unique. :( It's an outrage. Let's keep talking about it. I remember when I was in my early 20s and read a magazine article about this very issue. I shared it with my mom (who birthed 3 babies), and her reaction was very different from mine. She said women shouldn't complain. (?!?) I'm going to continue supporting moms who complain.
Awww... I do see her point. Complaining in some respects does nothing but turn you into a victim. But I've started to see how complaining with the intention to inspire others to learn and choose better can be a source of hope. We can love mom and choose differently. 💕
Thank you for saying that -- I'm indeed trying to learn to love mom and choose differently. I agree, complaining with the intention of hope can be worthwhile.
What’s so frustrating about this issue is that women have been saying the same things for many decades. While midwives are doing laudable work, the average mom who has her baby at a hospital has a traumatic, disempowering experience. 😔
I completely agree!! Sad
So true about ultrasounds -- my sister's ultrasound said she was going to be a boy.
I like how you used a humorous analogy to make your point. Another extraordinary essay, Katy!
Yes, environmental activists have rightly complained about the Navy’s sound waves harming whales off the coast of Puerto Rico. And we think it has no deleterious effect, not ever, on babies? The science has been clear in animal studies - it affects developing tissue for sure.
I'd never thought about that. Thanks for bringing it up. I really appreciate your ability to think critically.
A few years ago, a gastroenterologist gave me an ultrasound. There was no choice, just "this is what we're doing now." No comment.
So gross.
Also I can’t not link again here to the wonderful piece by @vilahedera about the backlash against the backlash. https://vilahedera.substack.com/p/witchhunt-a-commentary-on-the-widespread?utm_source=direct&r=ov0mx&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=post%20viewer
I worked with a group who built a midwifery led - birth center model of care and it was beautiful to witness this kind of care. Too bad it's not the norm.
Too bad indeed!!!
Thanks, Katy. I have four daughters, and one chose to have completely natural deliveries—both went very well. She described feeling a sense of love during the process, which I can’t relate to physically as a father, but I understand what she means.
She’s also very intentional about how she raises her kids—careful with their diet, selective about immunizations, and she prefers to let their bodies heal before turning to medication. Her children are rarely sick and overall very healthy.
In contrast, my second daughter, who is a nurse, follows more traditional medical protocols, including standard immunizations. Her three boys seem to be sick frequently.
That may or may not be related, but it’s something I’ve noticed. I appreciate your perspective.
Thanks so much for sharing their stories! I think your instinct about the patterns are probably right.
The "image your pooping" exercise just made my day. It's such a fantastic parallel to demonstrate the absurdity that we've all allowed to develop over the last 100 years in the child birth realm.
Excellent article all around. My favorite so far!!!!
Thank you so much Devin!! It truly is ridiculous how we’ve all been gaslit.