Excellent post, and it explains why the Left is so intent on peddling victimhood. They have no positive vision to offer, and folks in the middle are beginning to reject this. I was far deeper in the victimization mindset about 20 years ago. I descended into depression and alcohol abuse. I had lost a business to bankruptcy, and nearly lost the love of my life. I eventually learned to ask the question that you describe: what are you going to do about the things that are still within your control? The universe isn't out to get you; you're just not that important! The other hard lesson to learn is that the universe is far more random than our brains are equipped to grasp. Sometimes bad things just happen. It's not always about YOU.
I stumbled on your post about the roadblock you put in RFK Jr's. way, I left a slightly critical comment there but thought to look at your other posting to see if there might be a simple reason for my disappointment.
I found thoughtful and progressive posts and saw this one which rattled my cage a little and may be the reason I found you.
I confess I enjoy your writing style and will probably read more. This post resonated with me because I have been pondering a self defeating tendency (procrastination) that is holding me back. It was based on factors out of my control that are no longer relevant and I need to put on my boots and get to working out the reasons why I have been trapped in this condition.
So thank you for this post and I hope you have great success in your endeavours, from a look at your post titles and reading just these two I think we are 90%+ aligned on our greater hopes for society.
I left out my thoughts on this article. Another commenter likened the negative thoughts to pioneer plants and this sounds good.
I have no answers on why but I am reasonably convinced that what our bodies and minds do is mostly what we have been designed (creator/evolution) to do to achieve out goals of survival and God realisation.
In the same way that I questioned another doctor much smarter than myself who was describing the cunning, and multiple, ways that cancers cells evade destruction by our ever present physiological defences about what might have been the evolutionary purpose for such evasive tactics being built into our cells. I speculated that during times of stress cancer might be triggered to seek out novel survival strategies that might help if conditions became radically different. How they would be genetically passed on I do not know but the thought still occurred to me. An example popped into my mind just now, what if the dromedaries/camels humps/s were a type of cancer that saved one of their distant ancestors from thirst when a desert encroached onto their plains.
So back to negative and victim thoughts that do not help us. What if instead they are not simply negative thoughts but some kind of emotional placeholders that allow us to cope with stress in a way that prevents GREATER harm. Obviously they are not intended to remain for ever but if we were to think of them as friends like pioneer plants paving the way for good thoughts that were not ready to grow in the broken and disturbed soil we might even have more compassion for those thoughts and perhaps find easier ways to speed them on their way.
I am going to try and look at them as intentional thoughts and wish them well and work towards a handover of responsibilities where I will accept blame if it is mine and forgive others who likely don't even know I carry these thoughts and especially try and release the hold that inanimate things or events may have on my thoughts.
Agreed. Victim mindset is definitely definitely adaptive at some point (usually childhood)- it helps you self-protect because you’re otherwise powerless so you have to be more defensive. But super maladaptive as we get older and need to be able to take responsibility in order to be happy and at peace.
Spirit works in marvelous ways. I have spent the last two days trying to build awareness of how I participate in blame in subtle ways. It's a new thing for me. I appreciate your exploration.
I found that my thoughts of judgment, blame, criticism etc. are so common in my day. It was a shock. It acts something like a weed...and I know from my time studying Botany that weeds are simply plants that fill a particular niche in my the ecosystem, even when I think I don't want them. Weeds are pioneers, the first on the scene.
So as a First step, I tried to be aware of the number of times I had a blaming thought, a judgmental thought during the day. Lots of weeds. So on to the next phase of humanity: understanding what role the blaming plays in my life. When is it positive:? I guess it's a good thing to be discerning about what I want in my life and what I don't (in my life, in my work, in my mind and heart). I know that per their own definition, everyone is doing their best, and I want to make a positive contribution to the world. What about when the world doesn't seem to want iit?
And yet, there are times when I do get feedback from others that they appreciate me, and what I do, how I am in the world. I think that's my first step, to orient my compass to places where my efforts and input are welcome, arenas where I am not projecting my agenda in a way that leads others to feel blamed, or I blame them inwardly, and then proceed to the more subtle level of not blaming (that is, critiquing) others for the ways they lead their own lives.
I think I need to work on acceptance. Self-acceptance. Acceptance of others. And then I need to get some "Garden Gloves" and decide what I will cultivate and what is "a plant out of place."
I always promote the renaming of weeds as "Pioneer plants", they prepare the ground for producer plants. They fulfill a critical role in soil ecology and karmic exchange.
If victim thoughts are like weeds then we can look at it as progress towards progressive thoughts.
Hi Curious! Thanks for this thoughtful response. You are deep in the good fight!! This is great. I agree - that somehow, in a mysterious way, self-blame is the master “weed” as you put it. When you accept and appreciate yourself, it clears the field for acceptance and appreciation of others. And leads to discernment, which as you said, is important and necessary, but without blame. I’m right in the slog with you, hang in there!!
This is probably one of the best pieces I’ve read about this topic. And weaving it into politics is just chef’s kiss for me. 🤌🏼I love that you revealed the work that goes behind all of the programming people see on their screens. We buy into it because we crave it. Being the victim is so seductive and I love how this goes into why. It’s something we can all reference to be radically honest with ourselves.
Very destructive and increasing in young people with low emotional intelligence. Great discussion, thank you . 💟🙏💟
Thanks so much Brandon!
Amen to that, Bro!
Thanks for this inspiration, Katy. And excellent music choice in the Indigo Girls. 😁
Omg love them so much. Galileo. Of course. The Wood Song. Mystery. Get Out the Map.
Oh, Mystery and Get Out the Map are some of my favorites. 🤩
LOL thanks!!
What's one of your favorite songs of theirs?
Excellent post, and it explains why the Left is so intent on peddling victimhood. They have no positive vision to offer, and folks in the middle are beginning to reject this. I was far deeper in the victimization mindset about 20 years ago. I descended into depression and alcohol abuse. I had lost a business to bankruptcy, and nearly lost the love of my life. I eventually learned to ask the question that you describe: what are you going to do about the things that are still within your control? The universe isn't out to get you; you're just not that important! The other hard lesson to learn is that the universe is far more random than our brains are equipped to grasp. Sometimes bad things just happen. It's not always about YOU.
Yes!! So glad you hacked it!
Dear Katy,
I stumbled on your post about the roadblock you put in RFK Jr's. way, I left a slightly critical comment there but thought to look at your other posting to see if there might be a simple reason for my disappointment.
I found thoughtful and progressive posts and saw this one which rattled my cage a little and may be the reason I found you.
I confess I enjoy your writing style and will probably read more. This post resonated with me because I have been pondering a self defeating tendency (procrastination) that is holding me back. It was based on factors out of my control that are no longer relevant and I need to put on my boots and get to working out the reasons why I have been trapped in this condition.
So thank you for this post and I hope you have great success in your endeavours, from a look at your post titles and reading just these two I think we are 90%+ aligned on our greater hopes for society.
Thanks so much Kalle! I really appreciate your charitable and thoughtful reply here.
I left out my thoughts on this article. Another commenter likened the negative thoughts to pioneer plants and this sounds good.
I have no answers on why but I am reasonably convinced that what our bodies and minds do is mostly what we have been designed (creator/evolution) to do to achieve out goals of survival and God realisation.
In the same way that I questioned another doctor much smarter than myself who was describing the cunning, and multiple, ways that cancers cells evade destruction by our ever present physiological defences about what might have been the evolutionary purpose for such evasive tactics being built into our cells. I speculated that during times of stress cancer might be triggered to seek out novel survival strategies that might help if conditions became radically different. How they would be genetically passed on I do not know but the thought still occurred to me. An example popped into my mind just now, what if the dromedaries/camels humps/s were a type of cancer that saved one of their distant ancestors from thirst when a desert encroached onto their plains.
So back to negative and victim thoughts that do not help us. What if instead they are not simply negative thoughts but some kind of emotional placeholders that allow us to cope with stress in a way that prevents GREATER harm. Obviously they are not intended to remain for ever but if we were to think of them as friends like pioneer plants paving the way for good thoughts that were not ready to grow in the broken and disturbed soil we might even have more compassion for those thoughts and perhaps find easier ways to speed them on their way.
I am going to try and look at them as intentional thoughts and wish them well and work towards a handover of responsibilities where I will accept blame if it is mine and forgive others who likely don't even know I carry these thoughts and especially try and release the hold that inanimate things or events may have on my thoughts.
Whatever, good day and best fortune.
Agreed. Victim mindset is definitely definitely adaptive at some point (usually childhood)- it helps you self-protect because you’re otherwise powerless so you have to be more defensive. But super maladaptive as we get older and need to be able to take responsibility in order to be happy and at peace.
Spirit works in marvelous ways. I have spent the last two days trying to build awareness of how I participate in blame in subtle ways. It's a new thing for me. I appreciate your exploration.
I found that my thoughts of judgment, blame, criticism etc. are so common in my day. It was a shock. It acts something like a weed...and I know from my time studying Botany that weeds are simply plants that fill a particular niche in my the ecosystem, even when I think I don't want them. Weeds are pioneers, the first on the scene.
So as a First step, I tried to be aware of the number of times I had a blaming thought, a judgmental thought during the day. Lots of weeds. So on to the next phase of humanity: understanding what role the blaming plays in my life. When is it positive:? I guess it's a good thing to be discerning about what I want in my life and what I don't (in my life, in my work, in my mind and heart). I know that per their own definition, everyone is doing their best, and I want to make a positive contribution to the world. What about when the world doesn't seem to want iit?
And yet, there are times when I do get feedback from others that they appreciate me, and what I do, how I am in the world. I think that's my first step, to orient my compass to places where my efforts and input are welcome, arenas where I am not projecting my agenda in a way that leads others to feel blamed, or I blame them inwardly, and then proceed to the more subtle level of not blaming (that is, critiquing) others for the ways they lead their own lives.
I think I need to work on acceptance. Self-acceptance. Acceptance of others. And then I need to get some "Garden Gloves" and decide what I will cultivate and what is "a plant out of place."
I always promote the renaming of weeds as "Pioneer plants", they prepare the ground for producer plants. They fulfill a critical role in soil ecology and karmic exchange.
If victim thoughts are like weeds then we can look at it as progress towards progressive thoughts.
I will dwell on your analogy further.
Hi Curious! Thanks for this thoughtful response. You are deep in the good fight!! This is great. I agree - that somehow, in a mysterious way, self-blame is the master “weed” as you put it. When you accept and appreciate yourself, it clears the field for acceptance and appreciation of others. And leads to discernment, which as you said, is important and necessary, but without blame. I’m right in the slog with you, hang in there!!
This is probably one of the best pieces I’ve read about this topic. And weaving it into politics is just chef’s kiss for me. 🤌🏼I love that you revealed the work that goes behind all of the programming people see on their screens. We buy into it because we crave it. Being the victim is so seductive and I love how this goes into why. It’s something we can all reference to be radically honest with ourselves.
Thank you so much Micaela!! Glad it landed for you. You’re right, we all need to stick a fork in our inner victims!!